Daily Archives: May 27, 2012

It’s Been A Long Time

     It’s been a long time since I’ve written a blog, and it feels really odd to me that I should be doing so now after having been gone so long.  I would have thought that most of you would have abandoned me by now, so I was surprised and grateful to find that so many haven’t.  The first thing I want to say is that I’m sorry for not having witten.  I’ve had a number of things going on, and have had to deal with some very difficult things, among them back surgery, rehab, and deep depression.  That’s only the beginning, but in the end they are all just excuses.  The plain truth is that I allowed pain, and depression to overwhelm me, and I dove deep into the well of despair.  It simply got to the point where I just didn’t care about anyone or anything.  All I could think about was myself and my pain and my despair.  I wish I could say something else, make up some excuse, and put the blame on my not writing on something else, but that just wouldn’t be true.  I had disk replacement and spinal fusion surgery in January and it’s been a rough go.  For so long, and even now, it just takes so much energy to do anything, even very simple, basic tasks such as writing and keeping in touch with people you care about.  It’s terrible to treat your friends and people you care about in this way, and I’m truly sorry.  I hope you’ll forgive me.

     I have a long way to go, and there are still many hurdles ahead of me, and the future in many ways is still uncertain, but this can be said by many of you as well.  How silly we humans are to think that life holds any real security or that we are, in any way, in control of our lives.  In the time I’ve been away I’ve discovered some things about myself, and the way I look at life that have made me take a long hard look at myself.  It’s amazing, the human beings capacity to deceive oneself into thinking that they’re the only one who has it right.  We take for granted so many things, so many blessings, that we don’t even pause to notice until they are not there anymore.  We gripe, groan, and moan about the little inconsequential things in life, and pay little attention to the people and things that truly make it worthwhile, and the one ( Our Creator) who made all things possible in the first place.

     Please bear with me.  As time, energy, and desire permit I will try to keep in touch and let you know how it’s going.  Please don’t be offended if I don’t respond right away or at all.  Please know that I’m thinking of you, and that you are in my prayers.