I have no words to express how sorry I am for what you are having to go through during this time. I know that words during this time are of very little comfort, and I wish that I could offer something more. I’m saddened and heartbroken that I have nothing to give that can make or change even for a brief moment the reality of what you’re suffering. I can only tell you that I am willing to share your burden with you. As you mourn, as you cry, as you rail against the injustice of what has happened, I want you to know that I hold each of you in my heart, and that I’m willing to share whatever you feel like sharing with me for as long as you need in whatever way you need me to share it with you. Please know that you are not alone in your grief. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Tom was very depressed following his wife Elle’s death. For an hour he poured out his heart. Now, catharsis is good; it can show you what needs to be dealt with. But talk alone doesn’t change anything. So his counselor asked, “If the situation was reversed and you’d died first, what would you want Elle to do?” Immediately he replied, “Go on and enjoy life.” The minute he verbalized it a light within him came on and he said, “I’ve been feeling sorry for myself too long. We both hated it when people did that. I’m going to live, find purpose, and get back to church.” He did, and next time Tom and his counselor spoke he had begun to rebuild his life. The pain was still there, but he’d started to transcend it by taking action. Freud taught that the subconscious mind could be freed from painful memories by psychoanalysis. But his premise was faulty because memories, good and bad, remain part of you. Plus, his theory can lead you to believe that your problems can be talked to death without ever having to do anything about them. Some people get through their grief faster than others; sadly, some people never do. But you don’t have to be one of them! God said, “I will turn their mourning into joy. I will comfort them and exchange their sorrow for rejoicing.” God can reframe your past and give it meaning. He can help you to look back with gratitude, then forward with confidence. How? By transforming painful memories into powerful motivators and sources of future wisdom. Ask Him; He will show you how!
For many of us, death is our greatest fear. One comedian quipped, “I don’t mind dying, I just don’t want to be there when it happens!” But we can’t joke away the sobering reality the Bible describes as “the last enemy.” So what’s the answer? Jesus! “Only by dying could He break the power of the Devil, who had the power of death. Only in this way could He set free all who have lived their lives as slaves to the fear of dying” (Heb 2:14-15 NLT). Until Jesus came, Satan used the threat of death. Until then we all lived in fear of it. But because of the resurrection, all Satan has left are the lies he can tell about death. The word “destroy” implies “to reduce to zero” (See 1 Jn 3:8). Wow! By His death and resurrection, Jesus reduced Satan’s power to zero. And today Jesus says to you, “Do not be afraid; I am the First and the Last. I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore. Amen. And I have the keys of Hades and of Death” (Rev 1:17-18 NKJV). After destroying the prison of Death, Jesus came out and said to Satan the jailer, “I’ll take those keys,” then He went back to heaven.
We grieve the loss of a loved one, and that’s a healthy thing to do. But you can handle the grief when you know you can live through it, and that you’ll be reunited in heaven with your loved ones. So even in death, we win and Satan loses.