My Prayer to the Father, August 2, 2012

Heavenly Father,
I come to You, Father, in humble spirit,
And adoration, for I adore You so.
You, know though that I don’t feel grateful,
And this hurts me so, for I know
I should feel grateful.
Tonight, though, I’m going to confess
That it’s hard to feel grateful
When I’m hurting so.
I am grateful, though, Father
For Who You are,
And all that You are,
And all that You’ve done.
Even though my body is
Screaming inside,
I will not deny, nor turn away
From You even in the
Midst of this storm.

Heavenly Father,
I know You are the Author,
The Composer.
You have written verses across my heart
As You’ve written
The stars in the heavens.
Creation is Yours to own alone;
You sustain it with Your mighty hand.
You and only You
Can uphold it .
You, who made the mockingbird,
Also make the thunder.
You, who gave us the rainbow
Can flash Your anger, and
Cast it across the night.

Heavenly Father,
There is no storm beyond Your control,
No echo of Your thunder,
No flashing fire in the night
No heart break, or loss
Or loneliness or despair
Or physical pain
That is beyond You,
And Your Power.
I know this because I know Your Son;
I know that as He walked across a stormy sea
His disciples in a boat tossed to and fro
Cowered in the bow of their boat
Afraid and huddled in fear,
Crying out as if they had no hope
As if they were doomed to die
To sink beyond
Their Saviors’ love and care.

Heavenly Father,
I know how they must have felt
To see their sweet Savior
Walking on the waves
As if He were walking amidst
A host of friends.
What joy, what happiness
Must have been theirs as
They saw him coming near.
And Peter, oh Peter
To see him so courageous
So fearless, so ready
To step out and walk to his beloved
And doing so, walking on water
And then he took his eyes off
And started to sink;
Yet before his cry could scarcely
Be heard, Jesus was there
Holding him.

Heavenly Father,
I know that as my Savior held Peter
He holds me, and us all;
Ever knowing in our eagerness,
And our excitement to see Him
That at times we will stumble, even fall,
And yet He is there with outstretched arms
To uphold us
Always willing
Always waiting
Always there.
Oh, what a Savior He is
That we can never fall so far,
That we fall beyond His
Love and care.

Heavenly Father,
Forgive me.
Forgive me for thinking that my pain
Is something I cannot bear.
Thank You for reminding me to
“Look to the Cross.”
When I’m hurting, in pain,
When I’m suffering and ashamed,
When I’m lonely and weak,
When all seems so lost,
And the distance to walk so far.

Heavenly Father,
Thank You
For my Lord and Savior,
Jesus Christ,
Who gave to me, and to all
Our example
Our model
Who showed us
How to live in the midst
Of suffering,
And not despair.

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My Prayer to the Father – July 29th, 2012

Our Father In Heaven
I come to Thee in humble adoration and gratefulness
Praising You, Father, as the One worthy of my Worship.
You, Heavenly Father, who created the heavens and the earth,
You, Father, who have given us all that we have, and know.
Heavenly Father, I know that You are love,
And without You we would not know Love
Not in it’s purest form, not in the way
That Love heals and restores.
You, Heavenly Father, are the Author of Love
As written in Your beautiful expression
Of Your Beloved Son, Jesus.
You, Father, who wrote it forever on the hearts
Of those of us who believe in Him.
Of those of us who know that He died for our sins
And thus are forever in Your debt.

Heavenly Father,
I come before You, Father, knowing what
A privilege it is to come before Your eternal throne.
Overjoyed in knowing that You, the Creator,
Not only hear my prayers, but
Are anxious to hear them.
I know Father that You love my prayers,
And not mine, only, but all that come
From a secure position in Your Son,
My Beloved Jesus Christ.

Heavenly Father,
It is with true sadness that I come before You.
So sad that I live in a country that
You gave as a gift to all who desire to be free.
To all who desire to Love and Worship You,
And to express the best things You gave to us
As a dim reflection of who You are
In Your glorious and eternal Image.
We, who used to be the best representation
Of Your love and Grace
To a world lost and blind,
And in denial.

Heavenly Father,
I’m so sorry for my part in the smearing
Of what was once so grand and glorious,
And Father, I ask Your forgiveness
Not only for my part,
But that You forgive all who have
Done so much to dim a light
That at once was a beacon that
Shined all across the world.
Not our light, Father, but Yours.
A light of love and grace and strength
That brought forth all the best
That my Beloved Lord Jesus exampled.

Heavenly Father,
In my heart, I know that what has been done
Cannot be undone.
We who have mocked You;
We who have brought untold shame upon
That which You gave us.
We who have taken that which was precious
And thrown it among the dogs and swine
Are deserving of Your wrath.
We who have taken the innocent and that which
Is incarnated in beauty
And we through our silence
Have allowed those who have no soul
To kill and destroy by the millions
what You deem so precious
Life!

Heavenly Father,
If that were our only Sin
It would be enough to bring forth the fires of hell,
But to my most unutterable shame
It is only the first in a long line of that which
We should bow down before You
In sackcloth and ashes
And bewail the terror which we have
Inflicted upon ourselves.
But, no, Father, we not only have taken Life,
But we have done worse if it can be so described
In that we have taken our position
As Saints, as the Royal Priesthood You
Proclaim us to be,
And we have disrobed before the world,
As well as our families and neighbors.
Heavenly Father,
We have built great and towering monuments to You,
And we call them churches
But they are no more and no better
Than the tower of Babel.
We have raised them to raise ourselves
And only we do they truly honor
For Your Word in all it’s truth
Has been sublimated to no more
Than a cheer and a rah, rah, rah,
And a self-help, and self-love philosophy
That were the very things
That put my precious Lord Jesus on the cross
And left him to bleed and die.

Heavenly Father,
I beg You to send a fire of revival throughout
Our land; not to save it;
Though I wish it so,
But that through it those of Your children
Who have yet to realize their state
Might meet Your son, my glorious Savior
And fall before Him in love and faith.
That we might at least once more
Cast our light so brightly around the world
That we leave a last shadow.

Heavenly Father,
I would have no strength to bear my shame
Of this country I have loved were it not
For Your love and grace,
And the certain knowledge
That I am only a stranger here waiting
Until my Beloved comes for me.
Until such time, Father, let me not be slack
In that which You have called me to do.
Let me be bold in my love,
And unswerving in my devotion to the
Mission You have called all Your children to.
Let me proclaim Your Son, My Lord Jesus
To all I meet; to stand upon a hill
And raise my voice so that all can hear,
And stand in the path of all who propose wickedness
In the name of my Lord,
And thus express the Love He paid so much
To bestow upon me.

Heavenly Father,
I come to You on behalf of all in this country
And the world who are suffering
In their bodies and their spirits.
Who are struggling mightily
To pursue that which they know to be true
And to proclaim Him who is.
Heavenly Father,
Please I beg, I plead with You Father
To put a hedge of protection around
All my brothers and sisters
In Christ
Who are enduring the worst pain,
Who are being persecuted without mercy
In lands I’ll never see.
Sear our hearts with love and compassion
And a desire that will not be quenched
To pray for them with our all,
And to give them aid
In all the ways we are so capable of.

Heavenly Father,
Please be with my brothers and sisters
In Christ, and all who are in so much pain in whatever
Form it manifests itself in
And who are struggling to find their way
Through the darkness that’s enveloped this land
And this world.
Help us as those who truly love Your Son
To light our candles and lead the way
To He who is the Bright and Morning Star.

In Jesus Name,
Amen.

A Thought on Suffering

I often share things I come across in my reading, and see on other people’s blogs that I find noteworthy and that touch me.  It’s one way in which I share my heart, and what I feel that the Lord is revealing to me.  Now for confession time.  Sometimes I share what others do because I have a hard time sharing me.  It’s hard to look at myself honestly, to see myself in the light of truth; so often because what I see looking back at me I don’t like.  After 49 years, you’d think I’d be more comfortable with who I am, but I still struggle with looking at that person in the mirror and liking what I see there.  It’s always been far easier for me to love other people  than it has been to love myself.  I can give to other people, but allowing other people to give to me is terribly hard.

It’s a hard thing to admit.  Can I tell you it’s hard for me to imagine that anyone could love me, even God, and I have a hard time dealing with it.  Allowing myself to receive love has been a life-long process.  I tend to try to hide in plain sight.  One thing I’ve learned over the years is if you try to hide by hiding someone always finds you, but if you just stand in the middle of the room and smile more often than not people do seldom more than show a polite interest in you then leave you alone.  From that I’ve learned something else.  You can never really tell who’s suffering.  You can tell when someone is in physical pain, but you can’t always see suffering.

Having experienced both, I can say that the physical pain is often easier to bear, and easier to deal with in some ways.  You can take drugs legal and otherwise to lessen pain-the physical kind anyway-but suffering isn’t always that easy to alleviate.  It might help to just go ahead and define “suffering” for the sake of this writing as in the emotional sense because that’s what I’m talking about.  Emotional pain.  In this regard, I know I’m just one of many, and in a lot of ways I don’t feel that my, quote “suffering” in any way compares to that of some other people I’ve seen and known.  Not that we’re comparing because in truth “suffering”  is “suffering” no matter who does it, or what the cause of it may be.  I’ve known people who make a game of it.  Who try to manipulate it, and use it for their own gain, but nobody has a monopoly on it, and those who think they do often don’t even really know the first thing about it.  If you’ve ever heard the term, “suffering in silence” you know it didn’t come about from talking about it.

It’s a fact that no one of us ever escapes this life unscathed.  We all have our scars.  The worst ones are the ones nobody sees, and often they hurt the worst.  Often the people who carry such scars are the ones we don’t see.  It’s not the drunk, the drug addict, the welfare recipient, that are the ones truly carrying the invisible scars-though they may be-but rather it’s the middle or high school student found hanging or over-dosed that nobody saw coming, the young wife and mother found lying in her bed with a bottle of pills beside her, or the senior husband in the smoke-filled car.  Too often it’s the ones we didn’t see coming that suffered the most.

It says something about our world and the people that live in it that we’re so quick to judge them.  You and I have both heard the varied explanations and terms used in referring to those who have chosen to end their suffering themselves, and maybe even used those explanations and terms ourselves.  How callous and ignorant are we to think that they’re condemned for all eternity because of a bad decision.  It’s that kind of thinking and response on the part of people that gave rise to “suffering in silence” in the first place.

Some of us have had the misfortune of having some really bad, ugly, awful things happen to us in our lives, and we’ve suffered because of them, but there’s a truth that most of us don’t realize, and spend the better part of our lives trying to ignore, and it’s the fact that this is a world of suffering.  None of us escape it, are immune from it, and the harsh reality is that we’ve all taken our turn at the wheel at both ends of the car.

I’ve said all the above to say this, that there is an answer to suffering, but it lies in understanding what suffering is and it’s role in the world we live in.  We spend our lives listening to a world that says that there is no sense, no rhyme or reason, to why there’s suffering.  That there can be no God or a God not worth loving and serving who allows suffering.  Nothing is more untrue and false than this, and is the ultimate deception of the devil.  Who of us, myself, included, would be who I am, and who I am, becoming without having suffered? To feel unloved, to experience pain, to doubt oneself, to question one’s role and relationship to the world and the people in one’s life, are these not all experiences that set us in search of truth, of love?  And if we take our search seriously, if we look for it with all our hearts, is there any doubt to it’s destination.  We don’t travel the path of life (and suffer along the way) to come to a what….but rather to who….  You can take it from here….

From “Morning and Evening” by C.H. Spurgeon

     We must be aware that as Christians we will experience persecution if we follow Christ.  You stand for truth, you will face people who will lie about you.  You stand for what is right expect to be accused of terrible things.  You will have to deal with all manner of evil people, but take heart you will do not so alone.  God is with those who are His.  Never doubt it.  Never fear.  You will never go through trials alone.

“I came not to send peace on earth, but a sword.”

 

Mat_10:34

The Christian will be sure to make enemies. It will be one of his objects to make none; but if to do the right, and to believe the true, should cause him to lose every earthly friend, he will count it but a small loss, since his great Friend in heaven will be yet more friendly, and reveal himself to him more graciously than ever. O ye who have taken up his cross, know ye not what your Master said? “I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother; and a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.” Christ is the great Peacemaker; but before peace, he brings war. Where the light cometh, the darkness must retire. Where truth is, the lie must flee; or, if it abideth, there must be a stern conflict, for the truth cannot and will not lower its standard, and the lie must be trodden under foot. If you follow Christ, you shall have all the dogs of the world yelping at your heels. If you would live so as to stand the test of the last tribunal, depend upon it the world will not speak well of you. He who has the friendship of the world is an enemy to God; but if you are true and faithful to the Most High, men will resent your unflinching fidelity, since it is a testimony against their iniquities. Fearless of all consequences, you must do the right. You will need the courage of a lion unhesitatingly to pursue a course which shall turn your best friend into your fiercest foe; but for the love of Jesus you must thus be courageous. For the truth’s sake to hazard reputation and affection, is such a deed that to do it constantly you will need a degree of moral principle which only the Spirit of God can work in you; yet turn not your back like a coward, but play the man. Follow right manfully in your Master’s steps, for he has traversed this rough way before you. Better a brief warfare and eternal rest, than false peace and everlasting torment.

From Oswald Chambers’ “My Utmost For His Highest.”

     How do we garner strength?  Think about it.  Are you strong?  Strong in faith, in trust,  in perseverance?  Where did your strength come from?  Look at your house.  You want to know what it could and would survive?   Look at your foundation, and you’ll find out.

Partakers of His Suffering

1 Peter 4:13 (1Pe_4:13)

If you are going to be used by God, He will take you through a number of experiences that are not meant for you personally at all. They are designed to make you useful in His hands, and to enable you to understand what takes place in the lives of others. Because of this process, you will never be surprised by what comes your way. You say, “Oh, I can’t deal with that person.” Why can’t you? God gave you sufficient opportunities to learn from Him about that problem; but you turned away, not heeding the lesson, because it seemed foolish to spend your time that way.

The sufferings of Christ were not those of ordinary people. He suffered “according to the will of God” (1Pe_4:19), having a different point of view of suffering from ours. It is only through our relationship with Jesus Christ that we can understand what God is after in His dealings with us. When it comes to suffering, it is part of our Christian culture to want to know God’s purpose beforehand. In the history of the Christian church, the tendency has been to avoid being identified with the sufferings of Jesus Christ. People have sought to carry out God’s orders through a shortcut of their own. God’s way is always the way of suffering — the way of the “long road home.”

Are we partakers of Christ’s sufferings? Are we prepared for God to stamp out our personal ambitions? Are we prepared for God to destroy our individual decisions by supernaturally transforming them? It will mean not knowing why God is taking us that way, because knowing would make us spiritually proud. We never realize at the time what God is putting us through — we go through it more or less without understanding. Then suddenly we come to a place of enlightenment, and realize —“God has strengthened me and I didn’t even know it!”

　

Taken from “The Sermons of A.W. Pink”

 

 

     I came across this tonight as I was reading.  I often find it difficult to sleep, so I tend to read a lot.  I found this through E-Sword which is a free bible study program created by Rick Meyers.  You can find it here http://www.e-sword.net/downloads.html  I highly recommend it.  1 Peter 4:12-18 and this word from Mr. Pink really spoke to my heart tonight.  Perhaps it will speak to yours as well.

 

Suffering Saints

 

 by Arthur W. Pink

 

 

“Wherefore, let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to Him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator” (

1Pe_4:19). As the nature of fallen man is very backward to do good, so likewise to suffer evil; and hence it is there are so many exhortations in the Word both to the one and to the other. There is not a little in this Epistle on the subject of “suffering” (which has prime reference to opposition from the world), and many are the inducements advanced for the bearing of it in a God-honouring way. Varied indeed are the grounds for patience mentioned and the streams of comfort therein opened to the persecuted people of God—read through the Epistle with that particular thought in mind. Limiting ourselves to the more immediate context: the Christian is not to be unduly perplexed at his troublous lot (v. 12), rather is he to rejoice because it brings him into fellowship with Christ (vv. 13, 14). Yet we must carefully see to it that our afflictions are not incurred through our own wickedness or folly (vv. 15, 16). Vastly different is the end of a Christian from that of the wicked (vv. 17, 18). (1Pe_4:12-18)

“Wherefore—in view of all the reasons and encouragements given in the context—let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to Him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.” In different ways and in various degrees the Christian is bound to meet with trying opposition: “All that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution” (

2Ti_3:12). No matter where they reside, the saints live among those who cannot but cause them suffering: and as Scripture makes abundantly clear, our worst afflictions are to be expected from those who profess to be our brethren and sisters in Christ. Moreover, there is much within the saint himself which cannot but be the cause and occasion of suffering: indwelling corruptions which ever resist the actings of grace, lusts which have to be mortified, a conscience which accuses us when we displease God.

But the grand thing in which we are here to take to heart is the fact that the suffering of saints is “according to the will of God.” Those oppositions he encounters, the injuries done to him are not fortuitous: they are not the result of blind chance or fickle fortune, but are according to Divine ordination and ordering. How inexpressibly blessed to be assured of that! Does it not at once remove the bitterest ingredient from our cup of trouble? The saint never suffers except by the will of God. He who is too wise to err and too loving to be unkind is the One who mixes the medicine and hands it to us. If only we could always realize this, how many rebellious repinings would be silenced, and the rod meekly borne. True, we do not suffer all the time, for God tempers the wind according as our case requires, and graciously grants us brief respites.

 

Now in view of the fact that suffering is inevitable as long as we are on earth, and particularly because it is “according to the will of God,” our gracious Father, what is the Christian’s duty in connection therewith? To commit the keeping of his soul to Him in well doing. The manner of this committal is “in well doing.” And this, first, before suffering comes upon us. When some worker of iniquity afflicts a child of God, what a comfort it is if he has the testimony of a good conscience that he is suffering for “well doing” and not because he has wronged his persecutor. How watchful we should be in seeing to it that none can justly speak evil of us and that we do nothing to warrant our enemies hurting us. Then let us follow a course of “well doing” continually. Second, in the suffering itself. No matter how unprovoked the opposition, we must carry ourselves rightly under persecution: so far from harbouring a spirit of retaliation, we are required to do good unto those who do us evil.

 

Not only are we to be active in “well doing” unto those who cause us suffering, but our carriage is also to be good with respect to God: there must be a meek behaviour under His afflicting hand, with no murmuring against Him. This is of vast importance in connection with the cause of God on earth: that we betray it not through fear or cowardice, and dishonour it not by base retaliation against our oppressors. When we display a Christ- like spirit under afflictions, conducting ourselves in the fear of God and make conscience of our duty, it will exert a strong influence on those who wrong us: touching the hearts of the indifferent and closing the mouths of the obstinate. The weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but spiritual. Far more will be accomplished by prayer, than by taking things into our own hands and seeking to avenge ourselves.

 

We are not only to commit our souls unto God as to a faithful Creator, but this duty is to be performed “in well doing.” In the suffering itself we should have an eye to God, an eye on ourselves, and an eye to the cause in hand. We must not commit our souls to God in idleness: it is not sufficient that we abstain from evil doing, we are to be active in well doing. Nor may we resort to ungodly compromises in order to escape suffering, for that would be evil, and sin is far, far worse than to have suffering inflicted upon us. Whatever may be the present gain of pleasing men at the expense of displeasing God, the future loss will be immeasurably greater: prayerfully ponder

Mar_8:38.

And what is it we are to “commit to God in well doing”? Our name, our estate, our bodies, our friends; but chiefly and above all, the keeping of our souls. The soul is our most excellent part. Though the body be burned at the stake, that is a trifle if our soul be preserved unto everlasting glory. Though all our earthly goods be taken from us, what is that if the inestimably precious jewel of our soul is safe in the hands of God? The value of our souls is to be gauged by the price which Christ paid for their redemption. Therefore, whatever trouble or peril we be in at the hands of the wicked, let our first concern be our souls, that it may be well with them. When a man’s house is on fire, he naturally seeks to rescue first that on which he sets the most store; let it be so with the Christian when fiery trials are his portion.

 

And what is it that we should desire our souls to be kept from? Why, from sin, from doing evil, from not only failing to be profited from the suffering but to be spiritually injured thereby. It is when we are slandered, ill treated, wronged, unjustly persecuted, that we most need God’s preserving grace, for it is natural for us to want to “get our own back.” But when we truly comply with the injunction of Christ’s “love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you” (

Mat_5:44), then has grace triumphed over the flesh and God is greatly glorified. Nor is it a difficult matter to commit our souls unto God when our hearts are impressed with His faithfulness. If He unfailingly supplies the temporal needs of all His creatures, will He fail to minister to the spiritual wants of His children? No indeed.

　

 

 

A Thought on Suffering

     If there’s oe thing I know, it’s that suffering in one form or another is a universal experience.  We’ve all had to deal with it at one time or another.  No one escapes.  As someone who has lived with chronic pain for years, I understand the effects of living with pain on the mind and the body.  I can tell you that I’ve had many a sleepless night pondering the question of “Why.”  I’ve learned through that experience that asking “why” can take you down a long road and to a lot of different places, but ultimately it leads to a dead-end.  

     For myself, I know that a part of what I’m living through is a consequence of something I did.  Actions have consequences.  That’s the painful, ugly truth, and not admitting it doesn’t make it any less true.  Am I saying that all my suffering is a result of bad decision-making?  No.  Nor is anyone’s.  I can tell you that asking the question of  “why” only exacerbates and prolongs what is already painful.  Every answer to “why” invariably leads down the road of blame where the passengers of anger, guilt, and shame climb in the cab with us.  Often asking the question of “why” can trap us in a quagmire of  paralyzing emotion.

     That’s not to say that asking the question of “why” isn’t important and even necessary.  I don’t think there’s anyone who hasn’t ever asked the question, and I think it’s important to do so.  It’s so easy when suffering to get caught up in thinking that it’s our fault, that we either did or didn’t do something; if we’d only done that instead of this.  “What did I do?”, “Am I so bad?”, “I don’t deserve this.”  Trust me when I tell you that I’ve gone through the gamut of emotions and questions.

     I don’t have all the answers, but let me tell you some things that have helped me.  The first is it’s okay to ask “why.”  I believe God is big enough to handle the question.  I believe it’s all right to say “this sucks,” and “I don’t like it.”  I think God is big enough to handle our anger, pain, and frustration.  I think to deny what we feel is to deny our humanity, but even more than that I believe that God desires for us to come to Him with these things.  I don’t believe that my suffering with pain is God’s way of saying, “I’m going to get you.  I’m going to make you pay.”  I don’t believe God in Heaven is up there just waiting to pick people off. 

     If that were the case, why did He send His son to die for our sins?  Why take our guilt and shame upon himself?  If God were to do such things and to treat people in that way where would His justice, mercy, and compassion be?  The reason why Jesus died was to put an end to our suffering, our guilt and shame, and even death itself. 

     I don’t pretend to know or have all the answers.  I’m not going to try to explain God or why He does what He does, or allows what He allows.  I don’t know, and neither will you.  There are some questions we will never know the answer to in this life, and that’s all there is to it.   The thing that gives me hope, the reason I have faith is that God has revealed Himself to me in His work in and through my life.  I have experienced His love and grace firsthand.  I know where I was, I know where I am now, and I know where I will be, and I know He walks with me every step of the way.